Today I wrote to an Israeli friend how it feels to be back in America. Here’s what I wrote to her:
My re-entry to the US has been quite ‘interesting’. In some ways it is just easier to be in Israel right now. In Israel, there is understanding. Strangers are not strangers because everyone understands the situation. There is clarity. Not single minded agreement about many things, but clarity that this war is sadly, enragingly necessary.
Here in the US, my friends look me deeply in the eyes and their body language reads “I am with you.”
I am with you but I am with all struggling people. I am with you but Islamophobia is just as terrible as antisemitism. And xenophobia and on and on and the longer the phobia list becomes the more tenuous their already stretched attention becomes. They look directly at me and I know they are listening. But I see the gears going….25,000 dead in Gaza…total destruction of neighborhoods…starvation looming….
Their minds and hearts are in a good place but there are many good places and they can choose where they want to lend their hearts. They’re not faced with the situation that was laid bare on October 7 and continues and continues and continues.
Many of my friends in the US are with me but seem to not comprehend that Israel is engaged in a struggle for the right to exist. They try but they do not comprehend that Israel’s existence is essential for my existence and I believe for all of our existence. Of course they’re not the only ones. There are plenty of Jews who have forgotten or haven’t figured out or feel ambivalent about their relationship with Israel.
My friends tell me they are praying with all their heart for peace. “Thank you for your prayers for peace, we all need peace,” I think to myself. Or I say it out loud. But my thanks are bitter.
I was waiting on the checkout line to buy a few items and the man next in line startled me with his question, “Bring WHO home?!”
I actually jumped because I was considering at that moment a different question. And it was this: I was looking around at all the people and what was in their carts and thinking about what I’ve been thinking about every single day for the past four months and thinking “they’ve been done thinking about this for a long time.” Or. “Were they ever thinking about it?” Big question mark. I wonder how many people in this store or in the United States even think about Israel or Gaza. People have lives to live!
So I turned around and saw the questioner, and saw his question was earnest. He was pointing to my bag.
I replied, the hostages that Hamas has taken from Israel. It is now 4 months and every day is critical in the lives of those hostages who are still alive
He exclaimed “Geez, how can this still be going on? Don’t they know Israel will kick their ass?”
I think he typifies a different world view than my urbane friends who are busy praying for peace or at least telling me that’s what they’re doing. His perspective looks at force and military might as the solution. And in a way, it is. The IDF is working to make Israel secure. But hear this. No one in Israel wants war. Not this one and not any other one. No one in Israel wishes they had to use force. No one wants violence, destruction, or the ruin of human life.
The simplistic feeling that force is the answer is exactly something I always wanted to steer clear of. I intentionally studied at a liberal arts college, which was also a politically and culturally liberal environment. After college I worked intentionally in non-profits. I raised my family in liberal Cambridge, MA and now live in a community in Florida that is much more culturally and politically heterogeneous than you might expect for this red-leaning state.
For a quite while I have wondered how progressives jumped the antisemitism bandwagon. Actually I first learned this in 1975 when I described my first Israel trip to fellow students at Grinnell College. I remember describing the magical beauty of Jerusalem to a “smart” student activist. He went on to be an important figure in city government in Seattle, one of the cities that recently voted for “peace.”
That was actually the first time I saw the unseeing eyes that look at me but actually see in their minds eye a conflicting story of Israel as aggressors and the Palestinians as the freedom fighters. They are not engaged in conversation but have adopted an intellectually lazy trope that perpetuates antisemitism.
Why do few people know that Jews have lived in what is modern day Israel for over 3000 years.?There is archaeological evidence that shows our history. ( BTW how convenient the 600 plus miles of tunnels in Gaza have destroyed countless archaeological sites).
Why in these 50 years have I not been able to speak the truths convincingly? For a long time I thought just leading a “good” life would be enough. And by “good” I mean being a good parent, a good community member, a good health provider. Someone who cares for others. Someone who tries to make the world a better place in her work and her life.
It turns out that more is necessary. As American Jews we can work to really embrace our connection to our history. Israel is both part of our history as well as our future. Somehow we have to communicate this to people. Including our families! This is what it means to me to be Jewish in the USA in 2024.
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